day at mall...

purdizzle

I am at Purdue University, West Lafayette
right now. I am having a pretty decent time.
I am just relaxing, enjoying the minutes of the
day. However, like my previous blog, I miss
my david. It was my decision to come down here
but I miss him very much. Not being able to see
him like I have the past month every single night
it killing me.

Anyways, I bought Narnia today, I am excited.
I also drove around Lafayette. I am loving
these big cities. Welp, I'm gonna go pounce on
my dear Randers, who is painting her toe nails.
(muahahahahaha)!

life...

Ehh.....
Things are a little off.
Dave and I are doing
pretty splendid. I must
say that this boy makes
me feel like the prince
(queen)that I am.
He is so genuine and
sincere.

Another note, came home
after work on Saturday to
find out that my brother
is in a coma at the ICU
Parkview in Fort Wayne.
i don't know how i feel about it,
we weren't really close. i feel uneasy
about it. i wasn't so much affected
by it until i saw him.
thats when the tears came.
i've been kind of uneasy since.

I have to be strong for my mom.
My sisters can cry, but if I
do, my mom is going to lose
it. She has already stepped
outside of herself, so that
she is more a third party.
If she doesn't, she is going
to go insane, barrened with
pain, and saddnes.

Well, I don't have much more to say.

frontline

I dont remember when I last posted
granted the post has the date on it.
Things have been so so.
I competed at District III convention
last Friday. I got first in Impromptu.
I am excited because I now have a reason
to go to state! Yippee!!!
Dave and I are doing really well.
My affection for him growns stronger
everyday. Things I think will grow tight
in the future, but for now I am
embracing what the universe has brought
before me now.
Just the other day we did the most
romantic things. It was an incredible feeling.
School is dragging on a little bit, but I
am not letting my wits down. I need
to keep my head up and not give in.
I don't know what else to say besides
that I get to see Dave soon and I am
excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I have a three-and-a-half day weekend!!!
Half a day today (thursday)
no school tomorrow (don't have to take finals)
then no school saturday or sunday!!!
I have hung out with Dave, as usual.
Wednesdy night was our "official" date night.
We went to Taco Bell (yes to being poor!!)
Tonight, I went over to his house,
watched ER with his family.
OOOO, last night I talked on the phone
with my Randi!! How I miss that monkey...
Tomorrow night, Dave, Jen, Amber and I are
going to Cebollas to eat dinner yum yum.
Welp, I'm out, bored crapless!!

Today, I slept in. i got ready
and went to work. it was okay,
kind of boring. after that, dave and
i hung out. OMG, he electrifies me.
I like everything about him:
physical, mental, emotional
ALL OF HIM!!!
We talked on yahoo and doodle together
(doodle skin). how he makes me smile.

Yesterday, I met Kelsey and Jamie for
breakfast and frickin 7 in the morning...
TALK ABOUT CRAZY!!!!!
I was so effin tired, people prob
thought that I was drunk or smokin
a lil pot...hehe ;)
We had so much fun, but my
grits was !
Jamie and I hung out at Wally World after.
I came home, took a nap, then I went to
Dave's to watch Rent. I met his mom,
a crazy lady (in a good way).
got a pep talk from his rents about
being vertical in public hehe.
Ate dinner, then to work, then hung
with Dave afterwards...
I can not get enough of him :)

another day...

Waking up this morning was kind of nice...
I just laid in bed, looked out the window.
I must say, I enjoy waking up this way.
Last night, my friend and I watched a movie.
It was all good. We didn't get to finish it
because he had to go home. :(
Waking up this morning I received this
stupid text from the ex saying how
he is still in love with me and yadda yadda.
I just basically kind of ignored it, he was
a jerk. So, got up, showered and such. I had
to get ready because Mel begged me to go to
Randi's grandma's funeral. So, I went. I don't
know how to describe it. It was sad. It was
hard for me to watch Randi cry. She has always
been the strong one for me, now it was her turn
to cry. I don't know, i felt kind of hopeless.
Melissa is more her best friend/sister. I am just
the little deafboy thats and stupid. I love Randi
She is like my big sister, mom, friend, wisewoman.
She's kind of had for a life the past couple
of weeks. I hope things turn around for her.

I am going crazy about this boy. I can't explain it.
The first person that I am actually interested
in him, personality wise and not just about getting
some action. he makes me feel good, happy.
i love talking to him. we talk for countless hours,
continually, whether texting, phone or face to face.
Its crazy how I feel. I can't explain it.

Melissa and I hung out today. It was to frickin
hilarious. I don't know how anyone can live
without a Melissa Higgins. Oh, wait, I don't know
how to live without a Randi + Melissa. Together,
they are like dynamite!!!!!

boys are dumb...

Mistake: I allowed myself to possess
feelings for a boy. Not just any boy,
but a straight guy. It kills to see
him everyday, to see that smile,
to hear that laugh, to see those eyes.
I am trying to get over it, knowing
it can never happen.

I recently met another guy. We talked
online and decided to meet one another.
We both had agreed we had seen each other
before, but when and where was left unknown.
From the moment I started talking to him,
things started to change, good things.
We talk all day long, texting each other
in fault that neither of us can talk directly
due to being "in" school.
We've hung out for the past three nights,
getting to know each other better.
With every passing day, with every passing
moment, I feel myself attaching to him.
Although, my feelings for the str8 guy are
still present, they are disappearing.
I feel this connection, a strange force.
Is it real or just prolonged loneliness?
I opened myself, to allow this connection
to fester, but only to be dismantled with hurt.
I knew what would happen. Instinct NEVER lies.
Intuition told me they would meet up.
Intuition told me something would happen.
Intuition told me he was still in love.
Intuition told me NOT to attach, remain closed.
Do we listen or do we find our way?
Intuition to this moment has proven right.
Intuition has left me now closed, hurt.
I wanted to cry, but I held back.
I wanted to tell, but I hid it.
I was worried, but knew what was happening.
No response, tried to think little things.
Intuition told me otherwise.
Why?

I definitely just got my ears pierced!!!

I went to the movies tonight
with a completely hot boy.
we are just friends, which
i am cool with.

we saw brokeback mountain.
if i were to give it a rating,
i would probably give it a
5.
I think the plot or synopsis could
have been staged a little better
and the flow of the general setting
could have been completely better.
GRANT, however, the idea was great
and nearly made me tear in the end.
To bad there aren't cowboys like that
here in the fort for me!!!

another day...

well...
Its been a long,
been a long
been a long
DAY!!!

Yuck, well I decided that
I would start posting on here
again. I just got tired of xanga.

Valentine's Day is more of a day
to make single people feel like
CRAP!!

Now, while I am dwelling in my own pity,
I do believe that people make to much
of this day. I mean, what is so special?

Hell, I could just declare some stupid
holiday that could be better than this.

I don't know...i'm out.

Grape Jelly Part 2

So, I was on my way to the White house. I decided to take the bus, because...well...it's kind of a long walk from New Haven, Indiana! So, I get on the bus with my backpack full of bologna and grape jelly sandwiches, a pair of socks, underwear, and a pink flamingo (trust me, they come in handy!). I pick a seat that is at the back of the bus. When I first get on the bus, there's like...NO ONE except me, the driver, and a weird woman mumbling, "The flies are going to eat me, the flies are going to eat me!" I was all like, "That's weird!"

So, I finally get to the White House, and they have to check my backpack. (Don't tell anyone this, but I think one of the guards stole one of my sandwiches! I was soooo mad!) They give me my bag back, and they take me to a room with lots of pictures, and a statue of a man dressed like a pirate. I was all like, "Whoa! Nice pirate!" and George was all like, "Thanks! I like that pirate!" and then I was like, "I wish I had a pirate like that!" and then he said, "Everyone wishes they had a pirate like that!"

So, we sit down to eat grape jelly sandwiches, and we start talking about how Fruit Loops can make you look like a block of cheese! George was like "Whoa...that totally happened to a guy I knew in Denmark!" I was all like, "Whoa! That's scary!" George was all like, "But, it doesn't happen every time you eat Fruit Loops, so that makes it scary. Man, I used to LOVE Fruit Loops!" I was all like, "Who doesn't like Fruit Loops?" and George said, "People who eat them and then turn into blocks of cheese!" Then I said, "Good point man!"

So, we just kept talking about really important things like, grape jelly, and fish, and the govenor of Rhoade Island! We were interupted by Mrs. George and she was all like, "George! There's a crisis with grape jelly! They need you now!"

I was going to leave, but then I remembered something! I brought my pink flamingo! So, I said, "Wait! I have my pink flamingo!" George was like, "No way! That could save the world!"

-The End

-Will the pink flamingo save the world?

- Will grape jelly EVER be seen again?

-And most importantly, will pigs fly?!?!?!

-Tune in to see what happens!

Grape Jelly Part 1

Ok, so yesterday I was walking down the street, and I saw a car, a red car, a red car with black stripes, a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror. Well, I was like, "Whoa! That's a fantabulous red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" and the guy driving it was like, "Yea, I know...I love my red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" Then, I was like, "Dude, I wish I had a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" and he was like, "Everyone wants a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!"

So, I just kept walking after seeing that red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror. I was on my way to the grocery store to get bologna and grape jelly. I finally get to the store and I can't find the grape jelly! So, I go up to the counter and I'm all like, "Dude, where's the grape jelly?!" He was like, "Dude man, I don't know!" So, we're looking for the grape jelly when a man looking like a block of cheese walks in, the guy from the counter is all like, "Dude, nice cheese costume!" and the cheese guy was all like, "It's not a costume! This is the way I looked after I ate Fruit Loops!" and counter guy was all like, "Whoa man! I'm never eating Fruit Loops again! No way am I going to look like a block of cheese!" So, the cheese guy leaves and we are still looking for the grape jelly! We can't find it, so he makes me some from his grape tree out in the back of the store. So, I'm waiting for the counter guy to finish making the grape jelly, when George Bush walks in. I was all like, "Whoa! You're the president! What are you doing here?!?!" and George was all like, "Cuz, I want some grape jelly!" I was like, "Good thing the counter guy is making some right now!" So, we gave George the grape jelly, and he said that we could come to the White House and eat grape jelly sandwiches with him time!

I finally get my jelly, and I am on my way home. I totally see this girl walking down the street, and I was like, "Whoa, weren't you in my homeroom once?!" and she was all like, "No way! I've never even seen you before! Get away you grape jelly freak!" I was sooooo mad, that I just kept walking home. So, I get home and have my self a bologna and grape jelly sandwich and call up ole George Bush, and go to the White House!

-The End

Does anyone else
think that
Josh Groban
is the bomb?

I think that
he has an
amazing voice!

weird

METRO SURFING IS THE BOMB!

Rock, paper, scissors

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that stuff up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh crap, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you jerk!"

Weekly Quote

Josh Billings Quotes

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings

not happy

Okay, so this week has been anything but exciting. I
haven't seen Randy in like a week, except for today when I had the chance to meet him
at Walmart, but that was for like a split 3 seconds. I haven't had the chance to
really, really, really, spend time with him. I have been working this week basically
duing lunch, and then spending time with my cousins from Texas. Nothing to dramatic,
just a lot of chilling.

OH FRICKIN YA, I AM SUPERLY PISSED AT MY DAD BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE MY CAR REGISTARED WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN BACK IN FEBRUARY!!!

I swear he is a fuckin lazy ass and I want to kick him in the ovaries!!! GRRRR!!

Weekly Quote

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

Josh Billings

Superly Pissed

Okay, so I was very pissed last night. Randy was having this party and some of my friends were going to be there. I haven't seen Randy since Friday night, but I haven't really had the chance to spend time with him, so I wanted to go. I also haven't seen some of my friends for a really long time, so again, another reason to go. Well anyway, on our way back (my family) from my family reunion at McCormick's Creek State Park, my mom dropped me off at work. I guess when she came home, she got onto my computer and my msn messenger was up. She viewed my inbox and saw emails from Match.com. When she picked me up from work, she was super pissed that I had signed up for something like that and that is was a whorish act and that there are perverts on there mainly and couldn't believe that I would actually meet them. When in reality when I signed up for hotmail, hotmailed signed me up for Match.com and created me a profile, so I didn't sign up for it. And number two I would never meet anyone off of there anyway, just a friend to chat with. I mean come on, I live in basically a secluded area. Being gay, I don't know a lot of other gay people so I feel a little bit lonely. It would feel nice to know that I have others similar to me to fall back on (besides Randy). Then she was going to take away my laptop, but she hasn't yet. GRRRRR! I wish she would just let me go and live my life. I appreciate her trying to protect and watch over, but damn. I am almost 18, and going to be a senior. Let me live my life and make my own mistakes or how am I going to learn. I am actually smarter than what I act or appear to be.