moving on...the most important thing in life.
What is meant to be will be...
Cherish those who love you.

Almost a month to go...can't wait!

This is fucking hard, fucking hard!
Part of me wants to go,
Part of me wants to stay.
Life has been too depressing...
I'm tired, tired beyond belief.
I wept for two weeks.
Thought things were better.
I just want to talk, to let you know.
How sorry I am. Sorry for not talking,
sorry for the nights I was too tired to go,
those memories that never happened,
sorry for making you feel like shit.
I'm trying, but i can't deny.
I loved you, I love you, I will love you.
Four years...might turn into one.

I can't go on in life feeling this way.
I have tried so much, different ways.
The only way out, could be the last.
One more look, one more breath,
it will be all over. I won't have
to worry anymore...no more feelings.
Make it quick, for pain I cannot endure.

Fly Away - Sugarland

Oh I swear this town gets smaller everyday,
and I'm waitin for my chance.
I'm gonna break away.
I'm so sick and tired of being told what's good for me.
People got lots of ideas, of who I'm supposed to be.

(Chours)
Angel carry me, oh so far away.
May my body never... touch the ground.
And If I promise you that I'll be back someday,
will you set me free so I can fly away?

Fly away... fly away...

Well most folks here well they don't dig too deep.
They can't dream too big... ummmmhmmm...
cause they've got fields to keep
I could walk away and leave my family.
Or get buried alive in this legacy.

(Chorus)

I wanna sleep under a different piece of sky
I wanna live a little bit before I die
I wanna be so close to heaven I see angels...

(Chorus)

Fly away... fly away...

Seems like just yesterday,
You were a part of me,
I used to stand so tall,
I used to be so strong,
Your arms around me tight,
Everything it felt so right,
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong,
Now I can't breathe,
No I can't sleep,
I'm barely hanging on,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

I told you everything,
Opened up and let you in,
You made me feel alright,
For once in my life,
Now all that's left of me,
Is what I pretend to be,
So together but so broken up inside,
'Cause I can't breathe,
No I can't sleep,
I'm barely hanging on,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

Swallowed me then spit me out,
For hating you, I blame myself,
Seeing you it kills me now,
No I don't cry On the outside,
anymore....anymore,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

Here I am,
Once again
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes

i miss purdue :*(
I miss Mel and Meg...

school

I definitely think I can adjust next year.
This week has allowed me to escape the
drama of home life. IT has allowed me
just to be me. Thank you so much
Mel for hanging out with me and
for putting up with my gay ass.

You definitely made my experience
worthwhile and assures me I will
be ok next year.

Kudos to megan for fun times as well!!
Super man to the rescue!!!

16 things to do in wal-mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

I don't know what to think anymore. I am tired of complaining. I am tired of whining. I"m tired of getting walked on. I pour my life out to someone only to have thiem rip it apart. I feel like shit, major shit. I loved a person who didn't even love me in the same way. I want to be friends, but it seems as though they have forgotten me. they don't want to do anything. i'm no longer of any importance, just a waste of time. whatever, this is bullshit. blahhh...arrgghh!

happiness

Who ever said money can't
buy you happiness obviously
didn't try SHOPPING!!

Definitely got back from the mall.
Used money from graduation
and I am feeling so good right now.
It is quite odd, but I love buying
new clothes...hehe. Well,
I am off, later gator!

Joke: Flight Attendant

The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be sssssuper."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute enginesssss. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Put the tray up, Bitch."

no more...

*Sigh*
Don't know what more I can take....

My brother, my mom, my uncle, coworker...

Emotions are flying everywhere and
I don't know what to think.
Co-worker was killed in a
homocide the other night. I just
read the article over the incident
and it made me sick to my stomach.
I just need air, room to breathe.
I need to escape. I need someone to help
me...........................................................

no fun...

tired, tired, tired, tired, tired!!
This has been a most definite
interesting year.

Senior year- fun, living, having a blast,
finishing school, partying, etc

My Senior Year-
One bad break up, mom getting married,
brother in coma, brother in rehab( same bro)
uncle killed, senior drama, lilly scholarship,
FFA. My year equals the bus rides down to
Trafalgar, IN. They are bumpy and this bus
is definitely going 80!!

I am emotionally drained. I don't know what
more I can take. It started with the marriage
of my mother. Then it continued with the near
fatal accident of my brother, which led to couple
months of disrupted family life, closely following a
break-up with a close friend and finally, but not last
an unexpected death of my uncle. Talk about
roller coaster ride. I cry, but then I can't.
I don't know how I feel or to feel.

I am really disturbed by the news media. I don't
know how many know, but my uncle dealt with drugs.
He was killed in his home, Wednesday after three massive
explosions. Investigators believe there was a meth lab
established and that was at least the first explosion.
They don't know full details, but are still investigating.
Reading the papers, the journalist first kills the memory
by ruining the title line. Then, as it is hard enough to
deal with this, they add the part where the neighbor thought
he heards screams coming from the house.
WHO WANTS TO KNOW THAT?? Don't you think
my family, my grandparents are greiving enough
and now adding that he might have suffered? He was
a kind, caring man who had a great illness.
He loved his children, family, and ex-wife (long story)
but he for some reason couldn't let go.

Sometimes, I swear they go to far!!

Blah...I can't wait for state convention to
see Melissa. Then I can't wait for August
to start my life. This place is too much right now.

Just when you think things are getting better,
something comes along that ruins it.
I recently found out that my uncle brian died
yesterday in a house fire. He was a close friend.
If you don't know my uncle, then you can't quite
understand my mother's loss or the family's.
You see, he used to be an acoholic, abusive, and druggie.
My other uncle (his brother) turned him in.
Brian went through rehab, turned his life around
completely. He was doing so well. Things in the
marriage didn't do so well, but thats ok.
We were all proud of him. I don't know how my
mother is handling this. She doesn't know either
which is a good thing. With something like this
it is better to be unsure then trying to fake an answer.
She almost lost adam, but has watched him relearn life.
She has now lost her brother. What more can she take?