So, I was on my way to the White house. I decided to take the bus, because...well...it's kind of a long walk from New Haven, Indiana! So, I get on the bus with my backpack full of bologna and grape jelly sandwiches, a pair of socks, underwear, and a pink flamingo (trust me, they come in handy!). I pick a seat that is at the back of the bus. When I first get on the bus, there's like...NO ONE except me, the driver, and a weird woman mumbling, "The flies are going to eat me, the flies are going to eat me!" I was all like, "That's weird!"
So, I finally get to the White House, and they have to check my backpack. (Don't tell anyone this, but I think one of the guards stole one of my sandwiches! I was soooo mad!) They give me my bag back, and they take me to a room with lots of pictures, and a statue of a man dressed like a pirate. I was all like, "Whoa! Nice pirate!" and George was all like, "Thanks! I like that pirate!" and then I was like, "I wish I had a pirate like that!" and then he said, "Everyone wishes they had a pirate like that!"
So, we sit down to eat grape jelly sandwiches, and we start talking about how Fruit Loops can make you look like a block of cheese! George was like "Whoa...that totally happened to a guy I knew in Denmark!" I was all like, "Whoa! That's scary!" George was all like, "But, it doesn't happen every time you eat Fruit Loops, so that makes it scary. Man, I used to LOVE Fruit Loops!" I was all like, "Who doesn't like Fruit Loops?" and George said, "People who eat them and then turn into blocks of cheese!" Then I said, "Good point man!"
So, we just kept talking about really important things like, grape jelly, and fish, and the govenor of Rhoade Island! We were interupted by Mrs. George and she was all like, "George! There's a crisis with grape jelly! They need you now!"
I was going to leave, but then I remembered something! I brought my pink flamingo! So, I said, "Wait! I have my pink flamingo!" George was like, "No way! That could save the world!"
-The End
-Will the pink flamingo save the world?
- Will grape jelly EVER be seen again?
-And most importantly, will pigs fly?!?!?!
-Tune in to see what happens!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Grape Jelly Part 1
Ok, so yesterday I was walking down the street, and I saw a car, a red car, a red car with black stripes, a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror. Well, I was like, "Whoa! That's a fantabulous red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" and the guy driving it was like, "Yea, I know...I love my red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" Then, I was like, "Dude, I wish I had a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!" and he was like, "Everyone wants a red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror!"
So, I just kept walking after seeing that red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror. I was on my way to the grocery store to get bologna and grape jelly. I finally get to the store and I can't find the grape jelly! So, I go up to the counter and I'm all like, "Dude, where's the grape jelly?!" He was like, "Dude man, I don't know!" So, we're looking for the grape jelly when a man looking like a block of cheese walks in, the guy from the counter is all like, "Dude, nice cheese costume!" and the cheese guy was all like, "It's not a costume! This is the way I looked after I ate Fruit Loops!" and counter guy was all like, "Whoa man! I'm never eating Fruit Loops again! No way am I going to look like a block of cheese!" So, the cheese guy leaves and we are still looking for the grape jelly! We can't find it, so he makes me some from his grape tree out in the back of the store. So, I'm waiting for the counter guy to finish making the grape jelly, when George Bush walks in. I was all like, "Whoa! You're the president! What are you doing here?!?!" and George was all like, "Cuz, I want some grape jelly!" I was like, "Good thing the counter guy is making some right now!" So, we gave George the grape jelly, and he said that we could come to the White House and eat grape jelly sandwiches with him time!
I finally get my jelly, and I am on my way home. I totally see this girl walking down the street, and I was like, "Whoa, weren't you in my homeroom once?!" and she was all like, "No way! I've never even seen you before! Get away you grape jelly freak!" I was sooooo mad, that I just kept walking home. So, I get home and have my self a bologna and grape jelly sandwich and call up ole George Bush, and go to the White House!
-The End
So, I just kept walking after seeing that red car with black stripes and super cool dice hanging from the rear view mirror. I was on my way to the grocery store to get bologna and grape jelly. I finally get to the store and I can't find the grape jelly! So, I go up to the counter and I'm all like, "Dude, where's the grape jelly?!" He was like, "Dude man, I don't know!" So, we're looking for the grape jelly when a man looking like a block of cheese walks in, the guy from the counter is all like, "Dude, nice cheese costume!" and the cheese guy was all like, "It's not a costume! This is the way I looked after I ate Fruit Loops!" and counter guy was all like, "Whoa man! I'm never eating Fruit Loops again! No way am I going to look like a block of cheese!" So, the cheese guy leaves and we are still looking for the grape jelly! We can't find it, so he makes me some from his grape tree out in the back of the store. So, I'm waiting for the counter guy to finish making the grape jelly, when George Bush walks in. I was all like, "Whoa! You're the president! What are you doing here?!?!" and George was all like, "Cuz, I want some grape jelly!" I was like, "Good thing the counter guy is making some right now!" So, we gave George the grape jelly, and he said that we could come to the White House and eat grape jelly sandwiches with him time!
I finally get my jelly, and I am on my way home. I totally see this girl walking down the street, and I was like, "Whoa, weren't you in my homeroom once?!" and she was all like, "No way! I've never even seen you before! Get away you grape jelly freak!" I was sooooo mad, that I just kept walking home. So, I get home and have my self a bologna and grape jelly sandwich and call up ole George Bush, and go to the White House!
-The End
Monday, July 11, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Rock, paper, scissors
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that stuff up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh crap, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you jerk!"
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Weekly Quote
Josh Billings Quotes
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings
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