whomever is leaving the anonymous posts
can forget me mentioning anything to randi
she is an adult and will figure things out when time comes.
You must remain out of their lives and live your own.
If you are so concerned with it, tell her yourself.
Otherwise, I will have no mess in this bloody drama.

Second--
To all my lovely readers...
What I post in here is what I am thinking
This is my place to bitch
BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

I am in no way, trying to use
my notes or blogging in the form
of persuasions or arguement.
Read what I have to say
then move on.
Don't bug me asking if it was
about you, or someone else.
Just accept what is written.

If you have a problem,
address me in person/phone call
NOT over text
NOT over facebook
NOT over myspace
NOT over AIM

It pisses the hell out of me
because you can read,
but can't interpret the meaning
behind that which was read.
Ok, I'm done bitching.
ADIOS!

typical update

Dunno,

I ended something today that should
have been ended probably when I came
down here, but it never happened.

Last night was one of the worst
nights I have ever had with another
person. I can't explain the feeling
except to say that I don't want
to feel like that ever again.

So, I definitely forgot my bookbag
in my friends car...who came visited me.
They went back to fort wayne.
So, I had melissa take me to meet
my parents in wabash so that I
might collect what belonged to me.

After having a couple conversations
I half way found my self,
but again lost myself to nothing.
I dunno, I wanna change
but its the changing part that is hard.

I really like this guy. He knows
that I like him, but he doesn't
want anything except for friends.
Some circumstances are also a factor.
I dunno what to do...
I'm about to give up on love...

AARRRGGHHHH!! Wow, today has not been my day.
I wake up this morning a little groggy, then rolled out
of bed to eat lunch with Megan, Steven, and Andy.
I was a little edgy because of my certain nicotine not
being present. Then after lunch out of nowhere, I
have this anger that builds inside of me.
My emotions go through the roof,
my thoughts are never ending...
it was pure HELL!!!

I finally went for a jog...I feel a little better...
but now I have someone pissed at me...not cool.

I'm out...homework calls!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELLY!!!
I LOVIE YOU!!

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

grr...i am up still up.

i need to be up in about

3.5 hours...hehe.

Oh well. I hate the fact

that we have brains

or can just randomly think.

when you think things are fine

they hit you back in the face.

waaaaaaBBAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!

You don't know what to do.

I'm leaving soon.

but not soon enough.

I have some good friends I

am leaving behind. :(

I can't be here to support them.

it makes me sad. I'm glad I met them.

Well, i'm gonna go, bye!

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

hey hey hey!!
givin a holla
from the west laf area!!

Sup yos?? I am here
only for a couple days.
I need a break time.
I LOOOOOVE IT here!!

peace out!

pooped!

So I decided today that I would run. I haven't done it since

October and I have a lot of emotional build up.

Running has always helped me to drain that problem.

But lets just say that

#1 it was hott and muggy.
#2 definitely out of shape
#3 still not drinking enough water
#4 i am dog gone tired!!!

Welp, I'm out.

gay v. straight

Seven Reasons Why Gay People Are Better Than Straight People

You know you think it all the time. Now it is justified.

1) When we have kids it's because we really want them. Goodness knows we all hear about those silly "breeders" who practice unsafe sex and then get a "surprise" one day. Gay people don't have it so easy. When we want to have children there's always a third party (be it a test-tube, a surrogate, an adoption agency, etc.), adding to the already great challenge of deciding to become a mother or a father. We're not saying it makes us better parents, but OK, that's what we're saying. 2) We have better style. If we didn't, would there have been a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? We think not. And given that most celebrated male fashion designers bat for our team, we rest our case. 3) We set the trends. How else can you explain us wearing $500 designer jeans years before they were popular? And where would metrosexuality be if we hadn't been getting ourselves plucked and waxed for eons? These may not be good things, but still, we were there first. 4) We take better care of ourselves. You know you walked into your 10-year high school reunion with more hair, fewer wrinkles, less fat, and better fashion than any other guy in your class. Be proud. 5) When it comes to partying, we do it up right. Every straight gal pal of yours (and some of your hetero guy friends too) tells you they have more fun at a gay club than they do at a straight club. And naturally most of the hottest party planners are queer. It's because we're more fun. No really, we are. 6) We are devoted. Be good to us, we'll be good to you. No matter the generation, we stick with our divas (see Judy, Barbra, Bette, Madonna). And, hey, we're brand loyal too! 7) Watch out for our wit. Growing up as outsiders (to one degree or another) forces us to be verbally fast on our feet. So be nice, or a cutting remark will slice you down to size.

moving on...the most important thing in life.
What is meant to be will be...
Cherish those who love you.

Almost a month to go...can't wait!

This is fucking hard, fucking hard!
Part of me wants to go,
Part of me wants to stay.
Life has been too depressing...
I'm tired, tired beyond belief.
I wept for two weeks.
Thought things were better.
I just want to talk, to let you know.
How sorry I am. Sorry for not talking,
sorry for the nights I was too tired to go,
those memories that never happened,
sorry for making you feel like shit.
I'm trying, but i can't deny.
I loved you, I love you, I will love you.
Four years...might turn into one.

I can't go on in life feeling this way.
I have tried so much, different ways.
The only way out, could be the last.
One more look, one more breath,
it will be all over. I won't have
to worry anymore...no more feelings.
Make it quick, for pain I cannot endure.

Fly Away - Sugarland

Oh I swear this town gets smaller everyday,
and I'm waitin for my chance.
I'm gonna break away.
I'm so sick and tired of being told what's good for me.
People got lots of ideas, of who I'm supposed to be.

(Chours)
Angel carry me, oh so far away.
May my body never... touch the ground.
And If I promise you that I'll be back someday,
will you set me free so I can fly away?

Fly away... fly away...

Well most folks here well they don't dig too deep.
They can't dream too big... ummmmhmmm...
cause they've got fields to keep
I could walk away and leave my family.
Or get buried alive in this legacy.

(Chorus)

I wanna sleep under a different piece of sky
I wanna live a little bit before I die
I wanna be so close to heaven I see angels...

(Chorus)

Fly away... fly away...

Seems like just yesterday,
You were a part of me,
I used to stand so tall,
I used to be so strong,
Your arms around me tight,
Everything it felt so right,
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong,
Now I can't breathe,
No I can't sleep,
I'm barely hanging on,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

I told you everything,
Opened up and let you in,
You made me feel alright,
For once in my life,
Now all that's left of me,
Is what I pretend to be,
So together but so broken up inside,
'Cause I can't breathe,
No I can't sleep,
I'm barely hanging on,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

Swallowed me then spit me out,
For hating you, I blame myself,
Seeing you it kills me now,
No I don't cry On the outside,
anymore....anymore,

Here I am,
Once again,
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes,

Here I am,
Once again
I am torn into pieces,
Can't deny it,
Can't pretend,
Just thought you were the one,
Broken up deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes

i miss purdue :*(
I miss Mel and Meg...

school

I definitely think I can adjust next year.
This week has allowed me to escape the
drama of home life. IT has allowed me
just to be me. Thank you so much
Mel for hanging out with me and
for putting up with my gay ass.

You definitely made my experience
worthwhile and assures me I will
be ok next year.

Kudos to megan for fun times as well!!
Super man to the rescue!!!

16 things to do in wal-mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

I don't know what to think anymore. I am tired of complaining. I am tired of whining. I"m tired of getting walked on. I pour my life out to someone only to have thiem rip it apart. I feel like shit, major shit. I loved a person who didn't even love me in the same way. I want to be friends, but it seems as though they have forgotten me. they don't want to do anything. i'm no longer of any importance, just a waste of time. whatever, this is bullshit. blahhh...arrgghh!

happiness

Who ever said money can't
buy you happiness obviously
didn't try SHOPPING!!

Definitely got back from the mall.
Used money from graduation
and I am feeling so good right now.
It is quite odd, but I love buying
new clothes...hehe. Well,
I am off, later gator!