Today, I slept in. i got ready
and went to work. it was okay,
kind of boring. after that, dave and
i hung out. OMG, he electrifies me.
I like everything about him:
physical, mental, emotional
ALL OF HIM!!!
We talked on yahoo and doodle together
(doodle skin). how he makes me smile.

Yesterday, I met Kelsey and Jamie for
breakfast and frickin 7 in the morning...
TALK ABOUT CRAZY!!!!!
I was so effin tired, people prob
thought that I was drunk or smokin
a lil pot...hehe ;)
We had so much fun, but my
grits was !
Jamie and I hung out at Wally World after.
I came home, took a nap, then I went to
Dave's to watch Rent. I met his mom,
a crazy lady (in a good way).
got a pep talk from his rents about
being vertical in public hehe.
Ate dinner, then to work, then hung
with Dave afterwards...
I can not get enough of him :)

another day...

Waking up this morning was kind of nice...
I just laid in bed, looked out the window.
I must say, I enjoy waking up this way.
Last night, my friend and I watched a movie.
It was all good. We didn't get to finish it
because he had to go home. :(
Waking up this morning I received this
stupid text from the ex saying how
he is still in love with me and yadda yadda.
I just basically kind of ignored it, he was
a jerk. So, got up, showered and such. I had
to get ready because Mel begged me to go to
Randi's grandma's funeral. So, I went. I don't
know how to describe it. It was sad. It was
hard for me to watch Randi cry. She has always
been the strong one for me, now it was her turn
to cry. I don't know, i felt kind of hopeless.
Melissa is more her best friend/sister. I am just
the little deafboy thats and stupid. I love Randi
She is like my big sister, mom, friend, wisewoman.
She's kind of had for a life the past couple
of weeks. I hope things turn around for her.

I am going crazy about this boy. I can't explain it.
The first person that I am actually interested
in him, personality wise and not just about getting
some action. he makes me feel good, happy.
i love talking to him. we talk for countless hours,
continually, whether texting, phone or face to face.
Its crazy how I feel. I can't explain it.

Melissa and I hung out today. It was to frickin
hilarious. I don't know how anyone can live
without a Melissa Higgins. Oh, wait, I don't know
how to live without a Randi + Melissa. Together,
they are like dynamite!!!!!

boys are dumb...

Mistake: I allowed myself to possess
feelings for a boy. Not just any boy,
but a straight guy. It kills to see
him everyday, to see that smile,
to hear that laugh, to see those eyes.
I am trying to get over it, knowing
it can never happen.

I recently met another guy. We talked
online and decided to meet one another.
We both had agreed we had seen each other
before, but when and where was left unknown.
From the moment I started talking to him,
things started to change, good things.
We talk all day long, texting each other
in fault that neither of us can talk directly
due to being "in" school.
We've hung out for the past three nights,
getting to know each other better.
With every passing day, with every passing
moment, I feel myself attaching to him.
Although, my feelings for the str8 guy are
still present, they are disappearing.
I feel this connection, a strange force.
Is it real or just prolonged loneliness?
I opened myself, to allow this connection
to fester, but only to be dismantled with hurt.
I knew what would happen. Instinct NEVER lies.
Intuition told me they would meet up.
Intuition told me something would happen.
Intuition told me he was still in love.
Intuition told me NOT to attach, remain closed.
Do we listen or do we find our way?
Intuition to this moment has proven right.
Intuition has left me now closed, hurt.
I wanted to cry, but I held back.
I wanted to tell, but I hid it.
I was worried, but knew what was happening.
No response, tried to think little things.
Intuition told me otherwise.
Why?

I definitely just got my ears pierced!!!

I went to the movies tonight
with a completely hot boy.
we are just friends, which
i am cool with.

we saw brokeback mountain.
if i were to give it a rating,
i would probably give it a
5.
I think the plot or synopsis could
have been staged a little better
and the flow of the general setting
could have been completely better.
GRANT, however, the idea was great
and nearly made me tear in the end.
To bad there aren't cowboys like that
here in the fort for me!!!

another day...

well...
Its been a long,
been a long
been a long
DAY!!!

Yuck, well I decided that
I would start posting on here
again. I just got tired of xanga.

Valentine's Day is more of a day
to make single people feel like
CRAP!!

Now, while I am dwelling in my own pity,
I do believe that people make to much
of this day. I mean, what is so special?

Hell, I could just declare some stupid
holiday that could be better than this.

I don't know...i'm out.